Why I've been absent..

I wrote this post on the 3rd of December so quite a long time a go now. I was very hesitant to post it which is why it hasn’t gone up yet. ...

I wrote this post on the 3rd of December so quite a long time a go now. I was very hesitant to post it which is why it hasn’t gone up yet. I hope you guys understand. 

So, it’s been a while since i have last wrote anything here. I feel like i’m always saying that in videos and on blogposts, i have periods of time where i write regularly or vlog regularly and then a month of so where i don’t do anything. It’s annoying because thats not how i want it to be at all. In reality i would love to be able to stay on schedule and post regularly on social media and keep up with uni work and my social life. 

I said in my last video that i would write a blogpost explaining why i haven't been on social media recently and keeping up to date. In September i started University studying Makeup and hair design. I moved away from home, away from all my family and friends and i didn’t think it would effect me that much but truth is it did. I didn’t think i would miss home as much as i have. I didn’t like living on my ‘own’ essentially and getting to know new people was really hard. I felt so lonely at times and it wasn’t like i could just go downstairs and chat to my mum or even my dog hahah. It was a lot harder than i expected and i didn’t like all the change so soon. I enjoyed going to university because the girls on my course i could relate to. I didn’t know anyone from home going to the same university as myself and although that it good in the sense that it means you have to meet new people, it’s hard because when you feel alone or if you were to struggle to make friends for any reason you didn’t have anyone to turn to. I am also one to not go out that often & being university, it’s quite a big part of it. That’s not the kind of person i am. I don’t feel comfortable drinking around people i don’t really know that well in a new place i don’t know at all.

I found myself going home alot and going to stay with Zac. I just felt so much happier whenever i was with my family or Zac and it probably annoyed both my family and Zac as i was spending all this money on going to university but spending most of my time going home on weekends whenever i could. Around halloween time Zac and I actually broke up which was extremely hard for me. I was just starting to get used to uni and i felt happy and comfortable for once and then, i dont want to say that ruined it all, but it made me go back to the very beginning and that was very hard. Being so far away from Zac when we were going through this was the worst and i just wanted to be able to speak to someone face to face about it. I’m not going to go into details of why we broke up because i don’t want to, but we are probably better than ever right now. We were best friends before we got together and we have known each other for years and neither of us thought our relationship would last for nearly 2 years, so it would have been silly to just completely lose contact with each other and not spend time together. I am actually currently on a train to go and stay with him for the weekend whilst i’m typing this blogpost. A lot of people think it is weird that we have broke up yet we are still ‘best friends’ and we still do things together, but to me not ever speaking to him again is just not an option. It would be such a shame to ruin a 5+ year friendship over this. 

Anyway moving on from that, they were the 2 main reasons why i was not posting on youtube or my blog. I was also getting used to the work load with university and how i would cope with what we are expected to do. I think i am going to do a video or blogpost on my experience at University, because i believe that it is hyped up to be this amazing experience and for some people that isnt the case. Zac is loving university and has the best time and when i have gone to stay with him in the past i have had the best time too, better than at my own uni. So it really does depend on the type of person you are and where you go. 

I hope this makes sense, if you have any questions then as long as they aren’t too personal i will answer them below or on a social media platform.

You Might Also Like


  1. Lovely post Phoebe, we actually go to the same uni haha! I missed home loads to when I started but have got a lot more settled now, let me know if you ever need a chat :)
    sonia x